Marriage

kim ātmanānena jahāti yo’ntataḥ

kim ātmanānena jahāti yo’ntataḥ
kiṁ riktha-hāraiḥ svajanākhya-dasyubhiḥ |
kiṁ jāyayā saṁsṛti-hetu-bhūtayā
martyasya gehaiḥ kim ihāyuṣo vyayaḥ ||
itthaṁ sa niścitya pitāmaho mahān
agādha-bodho bhavataḥ pāda-padmam |
dhruvaṁ prapede hy akutobhayaṁ janād
bhītaḥ svapakṣa-kṣapaṇasya sattama ||
(Śrīmad Bhāgavatam: 8.22.9–10)

[Bali Mahārāja explains to Vāmanadeva why Prahlāda Mahārāja took shelter in him:] “‘What good is this body, which leaves one in the end? What good are the bandits known as kinsmen, who steal away one’s wealth? What good is a wife, who is a cause of saṁsāra? And what good are houses, wherein there is [only] the loss of a mortal’s life?’ Thus resolved and wary of the world, that great grandfather [of mine], of unfathomable understanding, took shelter in your unwavering lotus feet, because of which there can be no fear whatsoever, even though you were the destroyer of his own dynasty, O Best of the virtuous!”

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ārtārte mudite hṛṣṭā proṣite malinā kṛśā

ārtārte mudite hṛṣṭā proṣite malinā kṛśā |
mṛte mriyeta yā patyau sā strī jñeyā pativratā ||
(Garuḍa Purāṇa; cited Mahāsubhāṣita-saṅgraha)

“A woman who is distressed when her husband is distressed, pleased when he is happy, and unclean and emaciated when he is abroad, and who dies when her husband dies, is to be known as devoted to her husband.”

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preyo mitraṁ bandhutā vā samagrā

preyo mitraṁ bandhutā vā samagrā
sarve kāmāḥ śevadhir jīvitaṁ vā |
strīṇāṁ bhartā dharma-dārāś ca puṁsām
ity anyonyaṁ vatsayor jñātam astu ||
(Mālatī-mādhavam: 6.18)

“The supportive husband is for the woman, and the dharmic wife is for the man, a lover, a friend, all relatives, all desires, a treasure, and life [itself]. May this be known mutually between you dear youths.”

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ye māṁ bhajanti dāmpatye tapasā vrata-caryayā

ye māṁ bhajanti dāmpatye tapasā vrata-caryayā |
kāmātmāno’pavargeśaṁ mohitā mama māyayā ||
māṁ prāpya māniny apavarga-sampadaṁ
vāñchanti ye sampada eva tat-patim |
te manda-bhāgā niraye’pi ye nṛṇāṁ
mātrātmakatvān nirayaḥ susaṅgamaḥ ||
(Śrīmad Bhāgavatan: 10.60.52–53; cited in Prīti Sandarbha: 16)

“[Śrī Kṛṣṇa to Rukmiṇī Devī:] The desirous who by means of austerity and performance of rites worship me, the master of apavarga [i.e., mokṣa, or, the bestower of prema-bhakti, the ultimate puruṣārtha beyond even mokṣa], for the sake of matrimony [i.e., to enjoy the pleasures of being married] are deluded by my māyā. O Mānini! Those who desire [material] wealth [even] after attaining [alt., propitiating] me, who am the master of that [i.e., of wealth] and the wealth of apavarga, are unfortunate, since that [i.e., wealth] is present even in hell [alt., in births in lower, hellish species and conditions], and hell is a good condition for [such] persons on account of [their] being fixated upon the elements [i.e., on enjoying pleasures of sense objects].”

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rāgātmikāyāṁ rucir yathā

rāgātmikāyāṁ rucir yathā—suhṛt preṣṭhatamo nātha ātmā cāyaṁ śarīriṇām | taṁ vikrīyātmanaivāhaṁ rame’nena yathā ramā || atra svābhāvika-sauhṛdyādi-dharmais tasminn eva svābhāvika-patitvaṁ sthāpayitvā, parasyaupādhika-patitvam ity abhipretam | anyatra patyāv ‘ekatvaṁ sā gatā yasmāc caru-mantrāhuti-vrataiḥ’ iti chāndogya-pariśiṣṭānusāreṇa kṛtrimam ekātmatvam | tasmin paramātmani tu svabhāvata evety ātma-śabdasyāpy abhiprāyaḥ | evaṁ yadyapi tasmin patitvam anāhāryam evāsti, tathāpi ātmanaiva mūlya-bhūtenaiva taṁ viśeṣataḥ krītvā yathānyāpi kanyā vivāhātmakena svātma-samarpaṇena kañcit patitvenopādatte, tathā bhāvenāśritya anena parama-manohara-rūpeṇa tena saha rame ramā lakṣmīr yathā | tad evaṁ tasyā rāge piṅgalāyāḥ sva-rucir dyotitā ||
(Excerpted from Bhakti Sandarbha: 310)

“Taste for rāgātmikā [-bhakti] is as follows [as illustrated by a statement of Piṅgalā in SB 11.8.35], ‘He [i.e., Acyuta, Śrī Bhagavān,] is the friend (suhṛt), the most beloved (preṣṭhatama), the Lord (nātha), and the Self (ātmā) of all embodied beings. I shall purchase him by means of my very self and [thereby] enjoy with him like Ramā [i.e., Lakṣmī].’ In this regard, having established inherent (svābhāvika) husbandhood (patitvam) [i.e., capability to act as a husband in relation to a jīva] in him [i.e., Bhagavān] by means of his qualities of inherent friendship [i.e., his capability to act as a friend in relation to a jīva] and so forth, the conditional (aupādhika) husbandhood of others [i.e., of jīvas in saṁsāra who act as the husband of another embodied jīva] is intended [i.e., is meant to be conveyed by Piṅgalā’s statement in SB 11.8.35]. According to the Chāndogya-pariśiṣṭa, ‘She [i.e., a wife] has attained oneness (ekatvam) [with her husband] by virtue of caru [i.e., a type of oblation], mantras, rites, and vows,’ unitedness (ekātmatva) with other husbands is artificial (kṛtrima) [i.e., the unitedness of the jīva in the body of a woman with another jīva in the body of a man is a unitedness non-inherent in either of them that is created by rituals and resolutions], whereas in relation to Paramātmā, it [i.e., a jīva’s unitedness] is existent altogether inherently (svabhāvataḥ). This is the intention of the word ‘Self’ (Ātmā) as well [in SB 11.8.35, i.e., this is the intent of Piṅgalā’s statement that Acyuta is the Self of all embodied beings]. Thus, although husbandhood (patitva) is indeed non-adventitious in him [i.e., although Bhagavān’s capacity to act as a husband in relation to a jīva is not something some created but rather is an inherent capability in him], still [Piṅgalā states that] specially purchasing him by means of my very self, that is, [with myself] as the price, as other unmarried ladies also accept someone as [their] husband by means of the offering of oneself that constitutes [i.e., is known as] marriage, so I, taking shelter [in Bhagavān] by means of bhāva, shall enjoy with him, he of supremely attractive figure, like Ramā, that is, Lakṣmī. In this way, Piṅgalā’s own taste for her [i.e., Lakṣmī’s] rāga is thus illustrated.”

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