Friendship

kṣīreṇātmagatodakāya hi guṇā dattā purā te’khilā

kṣīreṇātmagatodakāya hi guṇā dattā purā te’khilā
kṣīrottāpam avekṣya tena payasā svātmā kṛśānau hutaḥ |
gantuṁ pāvakam unmanas tad abhavad dṛṣṭvā tu mitrāpadaṁ
yuktaṁ tena jalena śāmyati satāṁ maitrī punas tv īdṛśī ||
(Nīti-śatakam: 76)

“First, milk bestowed all its own well-known qualities on water [such as whiteness, tastefulness, etc., when it was mixed with water]. Observing the milk [in its midst] becoming greatly heated [i.e., seeing the milk and itself being heated on a stove], the water made itself an offering into the fire [i.e., the water sacrificed itself to protect the milk]. The milk became eager to enter the fire [along with its friend the water, as it neared boiling over] upon seeing the distress of his friend [i.e., the water], but became calm when combined with water again. Such is friendship with the virtuous.”

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mitraṁ prīti-rasāyanaṁ nayanayor ānandanaṁ cetasaḥ

mitraṁ prīti-rasāyanaṁ nayanayor ānandanaṁ cetasaḥ
pātraṁ yat sukha-duḥkhayoḥ saha bhaven mitreṇa tad durlabham |
ye cānye suhṛdaḥ samṛddhi-samaye dravyābhilāṣākulās
te sarvatra milanti tattva-nikaṣa-grāvā tu teṣāṁ vipat ||
(Hitopadeśa: 1.224)

“A friend is a pleasing elixir for the eyes and a joy to the heart. A friend who is a sharer with us in happiness and distress is rare to find. Others who are well-wishes in times of prosperity and full of desire for wealth can be found everywhere. Adversity is the touchstone test of their nature.”

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tad evāsya paraṁ mitraṁ yatra saṅkrāmati dvayam

tad evāsya paraṁ mitraṁ yatra saṅkrāmati dvayam |
dṛṣṭe sukhaṁ ca duḥkhaṁ ca praticchayeva darpaṇe ||
(Subhāṣita-śataka)

“One in whom both the happiness and the distress of another appear like a reflection in a mirror upon being seen [in the other] is a great friend.”

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sauhṛde vai ṣaḍ-guṇā veditavyāḥ

sauhṛde vai ṣaḍ-guṇā veditavyāḥ
priye hṛṣyanty apriye ca vyathante |
syād ātmanaḥ suciraṁ yācate yo
dadāty ayācyam api deyaṁ khalu syāt ||
iṣṭān putrān vibhavān svāṁś ca dārān
abhyarthitaś cārhati śuddha-bhāvaḥ |
tyakta-dravyaḥ saṁvasen neha kāmād
bhuṅkte karma svāśiṣaṁ bādhate ca ||
(Mahābhārata: Udyoga-parva: 45.12)

“Friendship should be know to have six qualities: (1) friends are delighted in that which is pleasing [to their friends] and (2) are troubled by that which is displeasing [to them]. (3) When a friend requests something that has long been one’s own, a friend gives that [to a friend] and considers even something that should not be requested fit to be given. (4) A friend, being of pure disposition, considers even his dear sons, property, self, and wives fit to be given [to a friend] when requested. (5) A friend does not live together with a friend to whom he has given his property out of desire for it and rather subsists on his own work. (6) A friend can neglect his own wishes [for the sake of a friend].”

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vyasanaiḥ kliśyamānaṁ hi yo mitraṁ nābhipadyate

vyasanaiḥ kliśyamānaṁ hi yo mitraṁ nābhipadyate |
anunīya yathāśakti taṁ nṛśaṁsaṁ vidur budhāḥ ||
(Mahābhārata: Udyoga-parva, 91.10)

“If a friend is in trouble, it is one’s duty to say a few consoling words and help him as much as possible. One who does not do that is considered cruel by wise men.”

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karāv iva śarīrasya netrayor iva pakṣmaṇī

karāv iva śarīrasya netrayor iva pakṣmaṇī |
avicārya priyaṁ kuryāt tan-mitraṁ mitra ucyate ||
(Subhāṣita-ratna-bhāṇḍāgāram)

“Like the hands of the body and the lids of the eyes, that friend who without deliberation does what is kind is said to be a [real] friend.”

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āpat-kāle tu samprāpte yan-mitraṁ mitram eva tat

āpat-kāle tu samprāpte yan-mitraṁ mitram eva tat |
vṛddhi-kāle tu samprāpte durjano’pi suhṛd bhavet ||
(Mahāsubhāṣita-saṅgraha)

“One who is a friend during times of adversity is a friend indeed. Even wicked people become friendly during times of prosperity.”

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āture vyasane prāpte durbhikṣe śatru-saṅkaṭe

āture vyasane prāpte durbhikṣe śatru-saṅkaṭe |
rājā-dvāre śmaśāne ca yas tiṣṭhati sa bāndhavaḥ ||
(Cāṇākhya-nīti-darpaṇa: 1.12)

“One who stays [with you] in illness, in adversity, in famine, while surrounded by enemies, at the gate of the king, and at the crematorium, is a friend.”

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utsave vyasane yuddhe durbhikṣe rāṣṭra-viplave

utsave vyasane yuddhe durbhikṣe rāṣṭra-viplave |
rāja-dvāre śmaśāne ca yas tiṣṭhati sa bāndhavaḥ ||
(Hitopadeśa: 4.67)

“One who stays [with you] in festivals, in adversity, in war, in famine, in revolutions of the state, at the gate of the king, and at the crematorium, is a friend.”

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pāpān nivārayati yojayate hitāya

pāpān nivārayati yojayate hitāya
guhyam nigūhati guṇān prakaṭīkaroti |
āpad-gataṁ ca na jahāti dadāti kāle
san-mitra-lakṣaṇam idaṁ pravadanti santaḥ
(Nīta-śatakam of Bhatṛhari: 1.73)

“The wise say these are the characteristics of a true friend: he prevents one from sins, engages one in what is beneficial, conceals one’s secrets, affirms one’s qualities, does not abandon one in trouble, and gives one [whatever is required or desired] at the appropriate time.”

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