ahaṅkārasya dve vṛttī ahantā mamatā ca iti | tayor jñānena layo mokṣaḥ, deha-gehādi-viṣayatve bandhaḥ, ahaṁ prabhor janaḥ sevako’smi sevyo me prabhur bhagavān saparikara eva rūpa-guṇa-mādhurī-mahodadhir iti pārṣada-rūpa-vigraha-bhagavad-vigrahādi-viṣayatve premā | sa hi bandha-mokṣābhyāṁ vilakṣaṇa eva puruṣārtha-cūḍāmaṇir ity ucyate |
tatra kramaḥ | ahantā-mamatayor vyavahārikyām eva vṛttāv atisāndrāyāṁ satyāṁ saṁsāra eva | ahaṁ vaiṣṇavo bhūyāsaṁ prabhur me bhagavān sevyo bhavatv iti yādṛcchikyāṁ śraddhā-kaṇikāyāṁ satyāṁ tad-vṛtteḥ pāramārthikatva-gandhe bhaktāv adhikāraḥ | tataḥ sādhu-saṅge sati pāramārthikatva-gandhasya sāndratvaṁ | tato bhajana-kriyāyām aniṣṭhitāyāṁ satyāṁ tayoḥ paramārthe vastuny ekadeśa-vyāpinī vṛttiḥ vyavahāre pūrṇaiva | tasyāṁ niṣṭhitāyāṁ paramārthe bahula-deśa-vyāpinī vyavahāre prāyiky eva | rucāv utpannāyāṁ paramārthe prāyiky eva vṛttir vyavahāre tu bahu-deśa-vyāpinī | āsaktau jātāyāṁ paramārthe pūrṇā vyavahāre tu gandha-mātrī | bhāve tu paramārtha evātyantikī vṛttir vyavahāre tu bādhitānuvṛtti-nyāyenābhāsa-mayī | premaṇi tayor ahantā-mamatayor vṛttiḥ paramārthe paramātyantikī vyavahāre tu naikāpīti |
(Mādhurya-kādambinī: 8)
“The ahaṅkāra has two vṛttis (functions): ahantā [i.e., I-ness, or identification) and mamatā [i.e., my-ness, or, possessiveness]. Dissolution of these two through jñāna is [called] mokṣa. Their being fixed upon objects of the senses, such as the body and home, is [called] bondage. ‘I am Prabhu’s person [i.e., I belong to Prabhu]. I am a servant, and Prabhu is my object of service. Bhagavān [i.e., Prabhu] along with his companions is verily a vast ocean of sweetness in form and qualities”—their [i.e., these two functions of the ahaṅkāra] being fixed upon the figure of a body of an associate [of Bhagavān] and upon the figure and so forth of Bhagavān [i.e., the vṛtti of ahantā functioning so as to produce identification with the body of an associate of Bhagavān, and the vṛtti of mamatā functioning so as to produce an affectionate sense of my-ness in relation to the figure, qualities, activities, and so forth of Bhagavān] is [called] prema. That [i.e., prema] is distinct from bondage and mokṣa, and is said to be the crown-jewel of puruṣārthas.
“The course [of development] in this regard [is as follows]: when the vṛttis of ahantā and mamatā are present very densely only in worldly affairs, there is only [the condition known as] saṁsāra. When a fortuitous (yādṛcchikī) particle of śrāddhā comes about, [such that one has the resolve,] ‘I shall become a Vaiṣṇava, and my master, Bhagavān, shall be my object of service,’ then those vṛttis have a trace of relation to Ultimate Reality (Paramārtha) and one has eligibility (adhikāra) for bhakti. Then, when association with sādhus occurs, density of that trace of relation to Ultimate Reality develops. Then, when unfixed (aniṣṭhitā) engagement in bhajana occurs, their [i.e., ahantā and mamatā’s] vṛttis are partially in the object, Ultimate Reality, and fully in worldliness. When that [i.e., engagement in bhajana] is fixed (niṣṭhitā), then they are extensively in Ultimate Reality and only mostly in worldliness. When ruci arises, then the vṛttis are mostly in Ultimate Reality, but [still] extensively in worldliness. When āsakti appears, then they are fully in Ultimate Reality, but [still] bearing just a trace in worldliness. In bhāva, however, the vṛttis are absolutely in Ultimate Reality, but possessed of a semblance in worldliness like the continuance of a negated entity. In prema, these vṛttis of ahantā and mamatā are absolutely to the fullest extent in Ultimate Reality and not in worldliness at all.”
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